My ideal Newcastle United Christmas present to unwrap today | OneFootball

An ideal time in the heart of the festive season to get a snapshot of views from Newcastle United fans on how they think things are going.

So we sent out various questions to a small number of regular/irregular contributors to The Mag.

Asking these Newcastle United fans some of the important questions of the day.

As well as some with a seasonal twist.

Here we have Jamie Smith giving his answers:

What would be a perfect Newcastle United Christmas present to unwrap?

I like those new Adidas NUFC Gazelles but if the question is meant metaphorically, then some kind of quality right winger with a set of fat sponsorship announcements and a confident statement from the club that PSR concerns are not an issue, would be ideal like.

In 2024, what have been your three best Newcastle United moments?

Winning at the mackems in the FA Cup was an excellent day, great fun day out and an itch scratched for how long it had been since we beat them. I also had twenty quid on Isak 3-0 so it’ll live long in the memory.

The second one is personal, taking my son Blake to London for the weekend for his first away trip at Chelsea in November, the story of which exists elsewhere on The Mag.

Finally, I’m going to go hyper recent, but the boost of reaching another semi final after Brentford has made for a jolly Christmas, especially having been bookended by a pair of 4-0 wins that suggest we might have a bit of swagger back.

In 2024 what have been your three worst Newcastle United moments?

Drawing Man City away in the cup quarter final was destructive. It was like the season ended while I was stood on the sidelines of my boy’s football practice, watching David Seaman give us the effective heave-ho on the BBC iPlayer.

Chelsea away last season was a low for me too, as a gutless performance against a beatable side effectively cost us Europe. It was the epitome of what I’ve christened the “Mr Hyde” display, where United let themselves down horribly from start to finish.

I’d probably throw the recent West Ham home game in there as well, the abject failure to create, shoot or properly work as a team making me feel like this season was utterly doomed as more winnable points were frittered.

Once we get Christmas out of the way, the Newcastle United hierarchy have promised an update early in the New Year, regarding what their plans are for delivering a significantly bigger/better stadium. What do you hope they say? (Not just whether staying at SJP or new site but also capacity, timescale, progress they might have made on the quiet regarding their plans, whatever)

Well, pretty much all of the above. I would forgive the time this has taken if feasibility exercises have been thoroughly exhausted and the announcement comes as “the new ground will be at x, or development will consist of Y. Work will begin on this date and completion will be expected at that date. Planning permission is now at the public domain stage and we can’t wait to get started.”

I fear it may be a lot less definitive than that unfortunately!

The 2025/26 season will be the tenth since Newcastle United last had a Premier League derby match. Have you any seasonal black and white goodwill for our Mackem friends finally making it back to the top tier, from what looks the most appalling quality second tier for many years. Or even just because the amusing FA Cup stroll on Wearside last season whetted your appetite for the return of the derbies?

The promoted teams of recent years have had a torrid time, with Burnley and Sheffield United once again storming to the top of that League having looked woefully out of their depth in the Prem, where the recent promotees all look bang in trouble.

Sunderland’s promotion would give us the chance to smash them easily twice en route to another demoralising relegation for them. For this reason I am ambiguous. It goes against the grain to want them to go up but it’ll be a couple of great days if they do. The FA Cup win has soaked my appetite for beating them for a while so I’m also happy if they stay away for a good few years yet.

If you could guarantee five NUFC players to be fit for the rest of the season (including all those currently unavailable), who would you choose and in what order?

Isak, Tonali, Pope, Hall, Gordon.

Isak in particular is irreplaceable, while the others are all key to anything positive we seem to do. Pope being injured just creates panic due to our crackers goalkeeping roster.

If you could invite three current Newcastle United players to yours for a social gathering at Christmas, who would you invite and why?

Dan Burn, no doubt. Looks like a great laugh and runs a good quiz.

I’d also go for Jacob Murphy, who seems like a mischievous little imp and he’d fit right in round here and Alexander Isak, so we could make him feel ever so welcome and like there’s no choice but to stay at Newcastle for a very long time.

A knock on your door on Christmas Day, your place beautifully Xmas decorated, roaring fire, table laden with more food and drink than anybody could eat and drink. You open the door and freezing cold, snow bleaching down, which three cold and starving Newcastle United connected characters (past or present) would you still turn away?

I bet everyone says Mike Ashley, but much as I hated him, I always begrudgingly thought he looks like he’d be great for a night out.

So I’ll go with Wise and Jimenez, his henchmen, and let’s say Michael Owen cos his patter would ruin the day anyway.

Assuming you don’t think that position has been reached already… what would it take for you to think Newcastle United needed to consider replacing Eddie Howe?

If we don’t win a trophy and end up in mid-table because these awful performances keep rearing their head every 2-3 games then the current set up has clearly run its course. Reboot in the summer.

If you were granted three New Year’s wishes (apart from the obvious of winning something!) to come true in 2025…

Man City’s various cases to bury PSR once and for all and allow us to spend.

Subsequently, a serious bankroll of a spectacular summer transfer window.

And thirdly, the announcement of the ground upgrade with full timescales and the sort of plan that makes you tremble at the thought of how mint it’s going to look.

Win the FA Cup or League Cup sometime in the next five years AND finish between 8th and 10th in each of these five seasons, or win nothing AND finish between 2nd and 4th in every one of these five seasons?

Urgh, don’t like this one, funnily enough for a singular season I’d take the cup, but to get where we’re going it’s the top four scenario for me, then win something in year five.

What are your worst ever past Newcastle United Christmas time moments / memories. Could be any kind of memories – matches, presents, whatever?

The worst one has to be contriving to lose to the mackems when that scumbag Johnson scored in injury time after we’d given them a decent run around some four days before Christmas in 2014. No way back for Pardew after he ruined Christmas.

I have a catalogue of bad Boxing Day trips, losses at Bolton, Blackburn, Liverpool more than once, Man U all springing to mind to the point I just resolved to stop going when we’re away on the feast of Stephen. Home this year though, so at least I get a chance to walk the turkey off.

Obviously it takes a ‘little’ bit of imagination but if there was a scenario where on the last day of a Premier League season… a Sunderland victory (against whoever) would mean Newcastle United qualified for the Champions League instead of Europa League BUT also meant the Mackems won the Premier League. What would you want to happen?

It’s a fanciful scenario like…

No shame in the Europa League lads, let’s have a right go at it eh?

In your lifetime, the five people associated with Newcastle United (anybody, on or of the pitch, inside or outside the club) who you would like to say thank you to and why?

Kevin Keegan. If he’s not on everyone’s list there’s something wrong. Fired up a forlorn United as a player and got them back to the top flight but then turned up again at or lowest ebb and completed the most magnificent transformation. The work done then gave us the facilities to be a Premier League club and nothing like this would have happened without him.

By that extension you’ve to include John Hall as well, for having the ambition and the willingness to put the money in, albeit he did well out of things in the long run.

I’d also put Rafa Benitez in there – things could have gone awry terribly after the 2016 relegation had he not stuck around and rebuilt the mess Ashley had got us in. He managed the situation not only to build a promotion side but to keep the club afloat in the top flight, even leaving a competent team for Bruce to oversee and allowing the takeover.

Chris Hughton is another for similar reasons. He had a better side than Rafa was left with, but settled chaotic club down with dignity and competence.

Finally, Amanda Staveley. Regardless of what anyone says, the takeover doesn’t come without her driving it and gathering the investors. Several knock backs didn’t deter her and even the efforts as a de facto chief executive saw the most successful season in recent memory.